what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
