"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I pour the whiskey from now on
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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