You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
