I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
