Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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