I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
