u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
