this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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