There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
