did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
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