is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
