I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He felt like a one man threesome
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize