is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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