think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize