White coat. Heels.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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