: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
