but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
