I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
