idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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