it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
