we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize