i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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