No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
ttyl tear gas
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
