Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
