Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
