are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
