My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
