my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
