Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
