dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
