I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize