so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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