just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
