This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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