Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
