He is an equal opportunity slut.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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