I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
