have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
