Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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