Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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