Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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