It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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