Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
