i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
