I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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