I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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