You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize