I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
