sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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