Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have fence marks all over my body
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
