I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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