Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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