I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
