Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize