Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
