I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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