how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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