Dual....:-)
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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