Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
