I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
