I think my vagina is haunted
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
