3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
please come you make the beer taste better
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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