well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
