Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
